A Lot to Love in Baltimore: What a Charmin' City

     When you enter "Baltimore" into urbandictionary.com, entry number 3 goes as follows, "...You like the grime, you like the fact that everything, absolutely everything, is stained and faded. Everything in the entire city, and even in many parts of the surrounding county, looks as though it was built sometime in the 50's and hasn't been sweeped since. I'm thinking mainly of the schools..." and the next entry rounds out the first page, with, "So we aren't the safest city... Don't be an idiot and wander into West Baltimore after dark. We might not be the cleanest, but the Inner Harbor collects all of the trash that floats through the freaking bay. But we have history. We are extremely cultured. We are Baltimore, and you aren't going to change that. "How 'bout dem O's, hon?"' 

     Well actually, MMoFoW, I don't think you want to ask that because I'm sure you know the Orioles are terrible. Others credit Baltimore as the home of Carmelo Anthony, and his "Stop Snitching" video, which is true. They talk about Mondawmin Mall, where you can go "if you brave." Others talk about chicken boxes, urban/ exotic hairstyles, The Wire, Honfest, Patterson Park, Charles Village, The Painted Ladies. Crabs, crabcakes, crab dip, crab anything. BELIEVE. "The City that Reads." The painted bridge near MICA. The (failing) Zoo. The National Aquarium. Hampden. Fell's Point. Canton. The typical. The murders, the crime. Definitely home to some original, profane, eccentric, and opinionated people. Fort McHenry. The Star Spangled Banner. Obama's coming on Saturday! The B&O Railroad. The '68 Riot. The '58 Colts. The '08 Ravens. The Bromo Seltzer Tower. Domino Sugar. Morgan State University. Station North. Penn Station. Pimlico. Coppin State, Howard University. Nancy Pelosi. Baltimorese. Gee, this listing is starting to resemble "We Didn't Start the Fire." Ironic. Duff Goldman, the Ace of Cakes (who is making the biggest mistake of his life by moving to Los Angeles. I am heartbroken.) John Waters. Hairspray. The 410. Our rivalries.

     The Charles Theatre. The Senator Theater. Under Armour. JOHNS HOPKINS LACROSSE. Black & Decker. Sheila Dixon and her corruption charges. City/ Poly. The private schools. Western. Dunbar. Frederick Douglass. The Sun (although it could use a little help.) Babe Ruth was born here, remember that. Cal Ripken Jr. Natty Boh. The NAACP. Mayflower vans; don't talk about them. Edgar Allen Poe. Nevermore. Jada Pinkett Smith. Step Up. OPRAH. Johnny U. Lenny Moore. Juan Dixon. Thurgood Marshall. Michael Phelps. Rocky AKA Sylvester Stallone. Mario. Pam Shriver. Goldie Hawn. KAL. Reggie Jackson. Nancy Pelosi. John Wilkes Booth. Tupac. Harriet Tubman. Annie Oakley. The guy who plays John Locke on LOST. David Hasselhoff. Cue slow-mo beach run. Oysters on the half-shell. Berger Cookies. The Lexington Market. Cross-Street Market. Each "Baltimoron" includes one or more of these in his own unique list.

     Also, Baltimore likes to lay claim to all these things and all these people. They may simply have roots here, or maybe endings, but these things are all part of us. Or at least the fact that we like to think so is part of us. I am so drawn to Baltimore, in part for the same reasons American Exceptionalism is so appealing to me. I like to believe that as small and insignificant as we are, we are part of something amazing, something meaningful, and of great magnitude. 

      And now we lay claim to about twenty more guys, and become part of something great for the second time this year. Just as Michael Phelps's spotlight begins to dim, we get to assume the spotlight of another great man. Or two. And celebrate in our shared hatred of Hines Ward, Joey Porter, James Harrison, and those stupid purple towels. And it feels so good to be acknowledged again. I love when our city gets attention for the great people and cultures it produces and contributes, rather than just for murder rates, and all that stereotypical stuff. Even in Boston, I have never felt quite as at home as I do in Baltimore. 

     There are tons of people who would criticize me, telling me I don't know anything about anything, telling me I don't live in the real B'More, know the real Baltimore. They would tell me that I think I know their city, and I take credit for it, without living through its trials and tribulations. But I'd like to think I can claim just as much allegiance to the city as a man on North Avenue or a woman on The Alameda could. A different allegiance, doubtless, but I love Baltimore nonetheless. And isn't that something to be appreciated and wondered at, rather than put down? The idea that so many different people can take pride in a concept or a person or a place, for many different reasons? I think it's cool, not stupid, that people want to be associated with Baltimore. 

     And as you can see, there is much to be proud of. Nothing excites me like even the most minor recognition of our city. Interviewing Elijah Cummings on CNBC makes me proud, for goodness sake! So, having said this, imagine how I'm feeling this week. The Baltimore Ravens are coming off a regular season that no one saw coming, and are prepared to take on the Steelers on Sunday, at 6:30 PM, Eastern. I am feeling great, like just about everyone else in "The City that REEDS." I BELIEVE. So even if they lose, knock on wood that they won't, I hope we can enjoy, at least for now, that once again people have realized that we have more to offer than heroin and death tallies. Because we do. 

     This season, the Ravens adapted a cheer first used by coach John Harbaugh's father, Jim. The inspiration for Jim's cheer originated during the weigh-in before boxing legend Muhammad Ali was to face-off with Ernie Terrell. Terrell, also a black fighter, refused to respect Ali's recent conversion to Islam, demonstrating a great level of intolerance, ironic coming from an African American in that time period. Terrell continued to call Ali by his birth name, Cassius Clay. Muhammad told him that if he would not call him by his proper name now, he would be doing so by the end of the night. Legend has it that Muhammad went on to win the match decisively,  and with each knock he demanded that Terrell submit to his simple request. "What's my name? WHAT'S MY NAME?" Soon enough, Terrell let out a faint "Ali." Faint, but discernable. Muhammad had earned the respect he deserved. The Ravens have since made it their mission to emulate this "What's our name?" chant, hoping to get the respect they deserve. Before every game, they pull together, join hands, and command attention, command respect. They're finally getting somewhere. 

     And we might learn a lesson from both Ali and Ray Lewis. It's about time that we join together, asking the nation, asking the world, "What's OUR name?" It's a simple answer. Baltimore.

Superstar, Where You From, How's It Going?

The 65th Golden Globes; my favorites (for the most part). 

The Best:

The Men of the Night:

Why, oh why? Blake Lively can wear anything. Anything, and look good. Except for this. So disappointing.

Bruce Springsteen is Having the Best Year Ever

     So that Eagles game was pretty great yesterday. I'm not a huge fan, but I love Donovan McNabb, because I feel like he's a class act, but he also gets trashed by the media and his diva teammates. Not to mention, every time the Eagles screw up, it's always Donovan's fault. Supposedly. For the most part, I could care less about the NFC, and the winner of this week's Steelers/ Ravens matchup is clearly going to win the Super Bowl. Yesterday, however, McNabb's comedic act far outshined Leno, Letterman, O'Brien, even, dare I say, Fey.

     He ran over to the Giants' bench, and picked up their players' phone, presumably connected to the opposing team's Defensive Coordinator or such, before flashing his pearly whites, slamming the receiver down, and taking his unsportsmanlike conduct penalty like a man. Bart Scott, Greatest Penalty Offender Ever (see last season's Patriots/ Ravens Monday Night Football Game), would be proud. It was almost as great as my boy Derrick Mason's incredible touchdown reception, or Ray Lewis elbowing that guy in the face, causing his mouthguard to fall out. 

     As soon as the game was over, we skipped the postgame (I don't like Fox's coverage anyways) and headed for Shannon Sharpe's expert analysis on the upcoming Steelers game. We watched that, and we're ready for round three. Apparently the mayor of Pittsburgh, Mr. Ravenstall or something is even changing his name to Steelerstall for the week. One witty Baltimorian called into 105.7, the sports station, and added that for Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon, such a name change would not be necessary, because... drumroll.. .. she already is a "stealer" (see indictment/ corruption charges). Oh politicians.. But Mayor Ravenstall is not the only one pumped up for this weekend. So is Baltimore; the entire downtown area, including city hall, is illuminated/ shrouded in purple (whichever verb floats your boat). Not gonna lie, it looks pretty nifty. 

     And after this, we once again skipped postgame coverage (somewhat more regrettably) and headed over to NBC for the Golden Globes. So we hit all of the major networks except for ABC, which I guess was the real loser last night. We missed most of the red carpet arrivals, but I've still picked a few of my favorites. Soon, we were inside. As soon as I realized Miley Cyrus was nominated for a Golden Globe, I found myself muttering some sort of countercurse in the hopes that this undeserving, nasal, twangy, preteen icon wouldn't win and join the ranks of film's greatest icons. But, not to fear. I could breathe a sigh of relief when not only did Miley lose, but Bruce Springsteen won! The Boss! So I thought I would tell you some reasons why Bruce Springsteen is having the best year ever.

     1. I am his newest, big fan.

     2. He is performing at the Super Bowl; where he will undoubtedly brush elbows with Michael Phelps, and the Baltimore Ravens.

     3. He has a new album due out soon that has already been pre-ordered like, a million times on iTunes

     4. He won a Golden Globe (as of last night)

     5. An entire episode of my favorite TV show, The Office, was centered around him/ rumors that Michael had tickets to his concert

     6. Everyone's favorite President-Elect (soon to discard the Elect) Barack Obama played Bruce's 'The Rising' during his appearance at the DNC as well as all subsequent appearances, including November 4th.

     Can anyone really have a better year? Tina Fey and Blake Lively also had pretty good ones, though. Clearly I was happy that Bruce won, although my second choice would have been the music from Wall-E, "Down to Earth." I really liked that one too. The movie was cute and had important social commentary, although I could have done for some dialogue. Oh, what would I give to be in a love story like that one, even if it were about robots? Fact: A lot. 

     I also really liked Tracy Morgan's shoutout to "post-racial" America. I love him so much, and that other girl's shoutout to the election was pretty cool too. Occasionally, we would flip over to FOX to see how the "24" premiere was going. Jack Bauer looked to be making some difficult decisions, and while the plot was unclear, I could tell that something dramatic was happening. So maybe this year is not so different from the last.. Also, I was a little uneasy about Colin Farrell's reference to withdrawl from drug addiction, and didn't see why it was necessary that Zac Efron be a presenter. Or the Jonas Brothers, for that matter. This is the Hollywood Foreign Press, not Disney Channel. I didn't get why that woman won for yet another "girl in love with a vampire" storyline.  I did really enjoy the writing though. And Tom Hanks is a beast. First he acts in amazing movies. Then he produces amazing miniseries; first Band of Brothers, now John Adams. Wow.

     My dad will not stop talking about the Ravens. He reads the articles, listens to each player's radio show, analyzes, and never fails to share his observations with us. But he mentioned he has a church dinner next week at the same time of the game, and if he choses to attend that, I will really have to question where his priorities are in life. I would like to say Santonio Holmes (10) is also really getting on my nerves. First he caught that "touchdown" back in December against the Ravens. Now he's making big runs in the playoffs. I'm a little scared. I have also been thinking that because the referees are just going to penalize us all day anyways, we might as well make the best of the situation. That means flipping Hines Ward upside down and making Ben Roethlisberger forget what his grandma looks like. If we're going to take the booking, we might as well make it worth the while. This weekend, I assure you, we will determine which defensive unit is actually the best in the National Football League. Also, I would like to wager 1,000,000 dollars that the unoriginal, uncreative, and uninventive Baltimore Sun will title Monday's headline, "Third Time's the Charm" or some such cliche, if the Ravens do pull it out. But don't take me up on that because if we're pleasantly surprised, I don't have that much money.

     In other sports news, I also happened to flip to the UNC/ Wake Forest basketball game and was shocked to see Wake nationally ranked at #4! I had no idea. 

     Consequentially, (or not so much, I will leave you with this thought; wouldn't it be nice to grow up one day and be one of those fat guys that has his buddies over for the game every Sunday? They appear to be financially stable, and they sit watching football all weekend, chowing down on the DiGiorno pizzas one of the guys ordered his wife to throw in the oven. It doesn't even matter that they're lazy and fat! I think that would be the ideal profession. I wonder how they achieve this level of dishevelment and passion, because I have to admit, it's quite alluring. 

Golden Globes

     In anticipation of tonight's Golden Globe Awards, and in thankfulness that they were not once again reduced to a press conference because of a writers' strike, we look back at some of my favorite red carpet gowns of the past, and reflect on a year of witty one-liners and suspenseful plot twists. Even if LOST's viewer ratings did more closely reflect the downward trends of our financial market, we were still graced with some excellent films and TV shows that kept us laughing, thinking, or on the edge of our seats the entire time.

Chance Meetings with Baltimore Sports Legends: We Must Protect This House! I WILL I WILL

     We may not be playing at home tomorrow, so we cant exactly protect M&T Bank Stadium, right? But we will win, and I will offer analysis. Further, Ed Reed doesn't just protect 'this house,' he does a darn fine job protecting the President of the United States. Maybe we should get him on a Secret Service detail. Maybe if President Palmer (24) had known about him, he would still be alive, and Jack Bauer's job would be a lot easier. But I'll take anything I can get, and if Reed can do more for our defense than Albert Haynesworth does to our offense, I'll be grateful.

     I had a star-struck moment, or whatever they're called today. I was walking to class and stopped dead in my tracks. There, in front of me, was the daughter of none other than Ray Lewis, the NFL's actual best linebacker, and the heart of the Baltimore Ravens. She looked strikingly like her dad, and although I have known for two years that she goes to the same school as me, I had never seen her until today. It must be a good omen. (This was better than the time I was running at my brother school and came across Cal Ripken Jr. That time, I was so awed that I said, blankly, "you're Cal Ripken." He had then proceeded to give me an exasperated look, like 'yeah, I think I know that,' and turn back to the baseball game he was watching.) 

     But this was so much better; almost as good as when I met Derrick Mason at his radio show two weeks ago, snapped a picture, got a couple of autographs, and offered him some advice and well-wishes. Also good was the time I met Kyle Harrison's parents at a Hopkins lacrosse game, or when Lenny Moore, the legendary Colts' runningback, who played in the '58 Championship Game, AKA The Greatest Game Ever Played, walked out of Miss Shirley's when we were waiting to be seated. Or perhaps getting a hug and autograph from Michael Phelps like seven hours before he was arrested in November of 2004. But we forgive him, and love him anyways. Bottom line: Baltimore sports legends exemplify Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez's statement, in The Sandlot: "Heroes get remembered, but legends never die." There's a reason that's my favorite movie. 

So sticking to the point, be amazed by Ed Reed's legendary talent, and prepare yourself for some more of it at 4:30 pm, Eastern tomorrow.

Moxley's Shuts Down in Towson; I'm Screaming

       Sadly, it turns out that 2008 is not the only thing getting kicked to the curb this January. Moxley's Ice Cream Parlor, the quintessential hometown, homemade, ice cream spot is on its way out this year. Opened in 1998 by Moxley, the yellow labrador retriever, and his "best friend," Tom, Moxley's fast became a household name in the North Baltimore/ Towson area, renowned for its charm and innovative flavors.

     The joint is pleasant and sunlit, featuring a full-service sundae/ scoop shop bar, complete with the tall stools, which provide endless entertainment for any kid, or perhaps the young at heart. Even though this shop opened its doors in the nineties, it had a distinctly classic, old America, feel. The ice cream is unmatched, in variety or quality, yet somehow, Moxley's was never too crowded. Not that there is such thing as a line too long for a scoop of Moxley's anyways. The charming storefront is enticing, and the ice cream doesn't fail to meet everybody's expectations.

     Disregarding the plethora of options, including monthly sundaes, floats, shakes, and smoothies, Moxley's flavor offerings alone cannot be beat. Almond Joy: Chocolate with coconut and almonds. The best banana ice cream you'll ever have. Banana chocolate chip. Blueberry with white chocolate chips. Butter Almond. Butter Pecan. Cardamon. Very Cherry Chunk, with two types of cherries. My favorite; Minty Mojo. Crushed Oreo, but with Mint! Triple Shot Espresso. Funky Monkey: Coconut with banana and chocolate chips. Another favorite, Ghost White Chip. Vanilla with white chocolate chips. Peppermint stick. Strawberry with white chocolate chips and fudge swirl. Pumpkin Pie. Coffee Mojo. Boring Chocolate Chip. Black Walnut. Butterscotch Vanilla. Candy Corn. Cantaloupe, Caramocha, Cherry Chocolate Chip. Vanilla with white, caramel & chocolate chips. Chocolate Covered Pretzel. Chocolate Peanut Butter Swirl, Coffee Almond Chip. Death By Chocolate; with brownies and fudge swirl. Cinnamon, Coffee Irish Cream, Egg Nog. Dulce de Leche. Ginger, Green Tea, Ice Cream Sandwich. Every type of sorbet. Sherbet. Minty Chocolate Chip. Peach, Peanut Butter Ripple, Pistachio. Hungry? Yeah, I thought so. I don't eat or crave anything unhealthy anymore; with one exception. I can never pass up homemade ice cream, especially Moxley's. That would be like blasphemy, or sacrilege, or something. And the names themselves are pretty creative and alluring.

     But, sadly, it appears that like everything else, this hotspot has succumbed to the uniform, impersonal, and cheap power of the super-chain. No, WalMart has not bought up Moxley's, but Lee's Ice Cream has, and that's close enough. They already have a spot about 2 1/2 miles south, why take over a place that is full of mid-summer memories and sentimental value? Here, we must observe what Moxley's was, and pay homage to its short-lived greatness. In just a decade, Moxley's became a legend for the ages, as far as eateries go. I'll miss the nights I spent with my dad and my chocolate moustache; watching the fireflies, ice cream running down my arm, and catching every last dribble and drop with my tongue. The Kicker? I never got to tell Food Network about Moxley's, so they could come check it out.

Black and White Photography

Ravens Take Unlikely Win in Dallas: Save an Egg, Beat a Cowboy?

derrick mason.

Yes, I was seriously considering signing off right there, leaving that two word thought to suffice for last week's win in Dallas. In all seriousness, that man's name is all that needs to be said. Luckily, I feel like writing. 

     We will begin where everyone else begins; with the quarterback. Joe Flacco has a good arm, and he can complete nice, crisp passes; if he has the time. I am not arguing Joe's strength, nor his potential, but rather his tendencies that result in lost yards and sack after sack, after sack. The problem is not, for the most part, when he does throw the ball, but what percent of the time Joe gets to the point of releasing the ball (on his own will) and before there is too much pressure. I have formulated the theory/ opinion that other players, like Derrick Mason, make Joe Flacco look better than good, and account for some of his lapses in judgement and experience. This is not to say he is a bad quarterback; by no means would we rather have Kyle Boller out there, or 90% of rookie quarterbacks for that matter, but I do not think he is the great quarterback (at least now) that some people have called him. At one point, he overthrew a wide open Todd Heap. A successful pass there could have given the Ravens a critical lead. And giving him so much credit for the Ravens' success? I don't think that's particularly fair either. Come on, he's just Joe the Quarterback. 

      Ed Reed has definitely built his case for Man O' the Year. More interceptions. What a way to begin and end the half. Not to mention, he can pull of cropped sweatpants, a feat in and of itself. Reed's Big D alone was almost enough to steal one in "Big D." In fact, the commentators noted that the fourth quarter is "normally the time of the game when Ed Reed becomes Superman." I wouldn't argue. 

      Again, conservative offensive moves made me uneasy. Injuries to Willie Anderson and Adam Terry threatened to spoil the Ravens' big night. Ware cost our offense, from the very beginning, when he forced a fumble from Flacco. The refs gave us more bad spots, particularly on a Todd Heap reception over the middle of the field. After a reviewed play, the refs still managed to give the Ravens a bad spot, which could have given the Ravens a first down. Apparently the officials forgot about something called forward progress? I was shocked when Ratliff was called for defensive holding call. For once the zebras were penalizing the other team! 

     We were settling for Stover, again, twice upon reaching the 5 yd marker. The announcers even commented at one point that we may get the opportunity to "knock on three" points. And really, why should they consider the possibility of a seven point play? I was beginning to question whether our only path to victory was winning by attrition. It would explain why our record in games where we control time of possession is so dominant. 

      Other more troubling aspects of the game included Frank Walker's weak coverage, and an off Tony Romo's exploits of the Ravens' brittle secondary. Fabian Washington sacrificed coverage in hopes of a pick, and conceded a key first down. The most concerning thing of all was that even after back to back 77 and 82 yard runs by Willis McGahee and Le'Ron McClain, the Ravens let the Cowboys drive twice, each time pulling Dallas within two points. My brother counted three plays in which Willis was "good," but I would caution that one long run cannot atone for an entire season of disappointment and mistakes, and I would warn Baltimoreans from jumping right back on the McGahee bandwagon. 

     Jamil McClain tried to steal some of the spotlight from Le'Ron McClain's 80+ yard run when he took it upon himself to sack Tony Romo. In other defensive highlights, Ray Lewis had a nice hit on Witten, although the defense didn't do the best job of containing him. 

     The offensive line did considerably well after the opening drive, and Lorenzo Neal is fast becoming one of my favorite players on the roster. At one point towards the end of the game, however, Flacco was hit practically before the ball got into his hands. Cam Cameron did some creative things, and some worked, while others did not. The dual-quarterback play was widely unsuccessful, resulting in a Troy Smith lateral to Willis McGahee for hardly any gain. On the other hand, a varied snap count drew Ellis and other Dallas defenders offsides, resulting in crucial yardage. Other exceptional plays included a wise QB sneak to extend a Ravens drive, and Sam Koch's fake field-goal run for a first down.

       John Harbaugh's Special Teams expertise came in handy as Jim Leonhard consistently delivered great returns to give the Ravens good field position.

       I became a bigger Matt Hasselbeck fan than I ever imagined myself being when in a commercial for Expedia.com, he described his honorable background as a man growing up in the streets of Boston.

      But now comes time for the courageous tale of our hero, Derrick Mason. With a separated shoulder, Mason toughed it out for all four quarters. In addition to the bone-chilling hit he took during the Steelers game the week before, Mason took three enormous hits from the Cowboys defense. Still, Mason persevered, and didn't stop until the clock reached 0:00. He was more than a statistical necessity to the Ravens, but also an admirable and inspirational figure. He was hurting, quite visibly, yet he led the charge, using his skill, discretion, and experience to instruct other members of the Ravens' offense. When McClain fumbled, Derrick was there to pick it up and recover for Baltimore. And to cap it off, Mason got a well deserved touchdown reception to give the Ravens what looked to be a decisive lead.  

    We will see what this week holds for Mason, Poe, and Captain Dee-fense in a matter of minutes.   

Ravens Struggle to Produce: Settling for Stover, We Must Knock on Wood

     I was at the Steelers game. I went with my friend and was overjoyed to find I would be watching the smackdown from about the 20th row, literally feet from the Ravens' bench. But then, the stadium lights came on, and things turned awry. And no I will not spare you my complaints about the officiating. Clearly they are legitimate complaints, seeing as the analysts on ESPN, NFL Network, CBS, NBC, and local stations across the country have been voicing similar ones for the past eight days (although it seems longer than that.) A) Did he have complete control of the ball? B) Did the ball cross the plane of the goal-line? C) Even if the answer is yes to both A and B, was there enough indisputable evidence to overturn the ruling on the field? I think not. And jeez, we thought Ed Hocules screwed over the Chargers. 

     As my dad noted sarcastically, "the zebras are our best friends." Yeah? Well, not exactly. All I'm saying is our bone-crushing defense isn't the only reason the record-books couldn't keep up with Ravens' penalties last season. My bet is that the refs are just intimidated by our fierceness black uniforms. It's okay, those uniforms scare my mom, too. She finds them.. menacing. 

     I think the most worrisome thing that came out of the loss to the Steelers was on account of the Ravens' own play, however, rather than any foul play on the part of the referees. The Ravens' offense looked not only conservative, but one-dimensional. They relied almost completely on the ground game, which is effective to an extent, but will not get you large gains. Furthermore, the Ravens relied on one back, a converted back at that, Le'Ron McClain. McClain is a strong back, but he's a big guy (around 240 lbs) and you can't have him carrying the ball over 25 times a game. It's a shame that Rice is injured, and Willis is so..well.. undependable. 

     Cam Cameron, usually such a gifted mind, left Joe Flacco up to his own devices, and I think he forgot to put in the batteries. I couldn't tell you where Mark Clayton, Todd Heap, and Derrick Mason were.. really, don't ask. But Joe would be easy for anyone to track down, as demonstrated by Troy Polamalu and the Pittsburgh defense. (I have a theory that if the Ravens' defense could play against the Ravens' offense, they would be the number one defensive unit in the league, and that it is simply the impossibility of this that gives the Steelers the "#1 Defense.") 

     Joe forgot my advice (about running to the sideline and getting rid of the ball), and as a result became well acquainted with the turf by night's end. Did I mention he has a tendency to fumble the ball when he's hit? Lack of offensive production has always been a problem in Charm City, and I can only hope this team, which has made such great strides, will not regress to its old self. The field goal after field goal game does well for Matt Stover's resume, but not for much else. Not to mention that kind of game is reminiscent to their crushing downfall at the merciless hands of the Indianapolis Colts just two seasons ago, when the Ravens (13-3) were AFC North regular season champs and favorites to go to the Super Bowl.

    The other troubling aspect of the Ravens' late game collapse was the defense, which I myself have touted as the best in the league, and their implosion. It seemed that the Ravens' playoff dreams had turned to smoke almost as expediently as the remains of the RCA Dome did. But seriously, since when does Baltimore defense give up 90+ yards on a closing drive? To their arch rivals? When the Ravens are winning? As Fabian Washington, who had a phenomenal game, joined Terrell Suggs on the bench with a late injury, the game became downright horrifying. The Steelers capitalized, and exploited the Ravens' weaknesses in Frank Walker, and the injured Samari Rolle, drawing big gains on passes to Hines Ward and Santonio Holmes. 

     Somehow Big Ben avoided our nimble defensive line, and led his team to a conclusive defeat. Injuries and weakness in the secondary are two things to be wary of in the coming week, and, knock on wood, the post season.  Also, the line must be careful to pursue a sack only when it has a clear shot at the QB, and without sacrificing body position on the block. 

     The Ravens better fix these things and keep their cool next week, or we'll be looking at an embarrassing loss to Jacksonville and a premature beginning to the off-season (which will only bring more consternation as we sort through the countless and invaluable free agents and our limited resources.) And the number one lesson from the Steelers game: if we get another shot at Hines Ward, please Terrell, stick to your word. Don't let him off easy.

Save Polaroids

      A year ago I had a very memorable conversation with a friend. I will never forget the details, nor the date. This may seem a random note, but I promise, I will bring this thought full circle.

     Today I was looking through Flickr, my new obsession, searching for symbolic or particularly artsy photos. I cued in "whimsical," "daisy," "portrait," "fall in love," and "black and white," curious to see what I would find. I found some breathtakingly spectacular prints of children in sub-Saharan Africa, and drummers on the New York City subway. Then I came across one that piqued my interest. A polaroid. So I looked for more polaroids, and discovered that such beauty is a dying art. Polaroids, like so much else, have been deemed unprofitable, inefficient, and discontinued. The world continues to be consumed by the high-tech, fast-paced, and the Wal-Marts, and we let Polaroids fall by the wayside. It's pretty sad, actually, so I started to learn about the Save Polaroid campaign, and flip through pages and pages of people's shared memories, grainy and simple, neatly centered on little white blocks.

     In fifth grade, I got my first camera. It was a polaroid and I'd like to think I just barely beat out the camera trend, although most of the cool kids bought digital ones when we hit middle school. I don't know where my camera is now, but I remember the unreasonably high price we paid for the film, and how we had to track down the rare joint that sold it. There wasn't much to my infatuation with snapping pictures back then, it was just fun. The way the film rolled out and slowly began to show the image. Corners first. The color and lines, slowly pinching inward. Memories captured almost immediately. But I didn't put too much stake in that deep stuff back in fifth grade. I liked the sound. I liked the way it looked. I liked the colors and the idea of having a camera. 

      Now I see why this discontinuation of Polaroids bothers me so much. I haven't even picked one up in years. It's just like everything else in this world. Getting caught up in the whirlwind of changing times, these symbolic and beloved treasures of years past are just "not good enough" anymore. Quality and meaning doesn't matter anymore; it's all about profitability. In a world of NikonD8,000,000s or whatever Ashton Kutcher's using now, Polaroids don't cut it. At least to those who make the decisions. Polaroids should though. I like them because they recapture not only memories, but they elicit emotions, feelings, of simpler times. Happier times, perhaps. 

      The other day, a friend and I watched one of my all-time favorite movies, The Sandlot. We couldn't help but express regret that we didn't get to experience the idyllic, stereotypical American childhood in the 1960's. The eggs and bacon for breakfast, and toast popping up out of the toaster at exactly the right moment. We gaped at the neat storefronts, brick walls, painted awnings. The barbecues, and all day baseball games that never ended. But all I see driving down the street nowadays is poverty, CVS, Rite-Aid, Wal-Mart, Drive-Thrus (as though adding the o, g, and h would kill them.) The flashy neon and cheap materials clash. The pawn shops, adult entertainment theaters, and chain restaurants. Trash drifts down the streets, blowing in the wind, catching on street signs, fire hydrants. Small children wait in cold, grimy bus stops, alone, for dirty buses that run late and are full of disrespectful, selfish people.  

     To me there is value in the family owned joints, one-of-a-kind diners, doughnut shops, and coffee spots. It's so sad to see the deterioration of these values. It's even harder to know I never got to experience any of this in its fullest expression. I'm sure that my simplifications and idealizations of past times are inaccurate, insensitive, and immature, but there must be some truth to my musings. 

     I like to think family mattered back then. Honesty and learning lessons and little league baseball. Block parties and soda jerks and 5 cent haircuts. Heaping slices of apple pie with vanilla ice cream. Pearl necklaces and big hairdo's, Hairspray style. Trading cards and sandlots and treehouses. L-7 weenies and community pools. Sally Peffercorns. I feel like people took more time to enjoy their newfound prosperity and appreciated where they came from. I feel like this showed in the way they kept their homes, their shops, their yards, and their cars. The way they combed their sons' hair, even if it looked really lame. The "Honey, I'm home!" and "Gee, that's swell," and all that good stuff. The mowing lawns and playing catch. That must have been a nice time to live in. 

      I bet those are the kinds of moments Polaroids captured. And as Polaroids disappear, will these moments, too, disintegrate? No, I retain some hope that some of this will stay the same, maintain a constancy that will help carry me through life without losing complete faith. I feel like Barack Obama values these things, and that one of his great promises to America is his ability to bring some of this warm sixties fuzziness back. America was exceptional, and, please, let's not lose sight of all that. So, although I'm no longer in contact with the friend I spoke to a year ago today, I'd like to think some of the sentiment in our friendship is still somewhere, trapped forever on a small blank square. The image of us is now grainy and faded, I'm sure, but nonetheless it's waiting for someone to take a big black sharpie and put a caption on it, Dec. 22, 2007. And here's to many more chances to whip out that marker. 

A Tale of Two Units

        This title serves as a double entendre, because it not only illustrates the total contrast between the Ravens' defensive and offensive units' performances last night, but also the offense's Dr. Jekyll and Mr.Hyde-eque qualities in and of itself. It was during this offensive unit's particularly horrendous third quarter showing that I came up with the perfect analogy; the financial crisis. I know, a little farfetched, but hear me out. The offense is kind of like Wall Street, talking big, getting big compliments and the high profile attention. They beg for respect and the ability to show they can win a game on their own, just as Wall Street executives begged for deregulation. But then they go and take big risks, gambling with the fate of the entire team. And, ultimately, due to a sub-prime lending crisis, bad assets, or bad ball-handling, they screw up. Then they look to the defense begging for a bailout. Not so independent now, eh? And just as government bailouts are questioned, and the government's supply of money is stretched, the defense is worn and beaten. They are the ones that have to go out an win the game, so as not to let everyone down (those poor season ticket holders, tailgaters, and men with 30 pounds of purple and gold beads that sit behind the endzone.) The game, like the crisis, became a question not of resource availability. It's a pretty good analogy, I think. But luckily, Bart Scott and Terrell Suggs prevailed, so if this is, indeed, an indicator as to how our economic crisis will develop, it may bode well. Too bad Haloti Ngata isn't on the Federal pay grade.

 

       Despite a promising start, last night was a lackluster, if that, performance for the offense. Actually it was quite destructive and would inarguably have resulted in a loss if it weren't for that good ole' Baltimore "D." There were, however, some bright spots for the offense. Todd Heap wins Most Improved, and Derrick Mason takes Most Consistent, again taking a questionably lofty pass and turning it into a much needed touchdown. Mark Clayton had another great week, but the winner was Le'Ron McClain. He had the best grip on the pigskin, fumbling only once (later ruled down). McClain also iced the Redskins' offense, and put an end to their momentum, by driving the Ravens down the entire field (he took 11 straight carries.) Lorenzo Neal, at fullback, paved the way for McClain's success, and was very efficient at bulldozing his way through the Redskins' defensive line. I will say that I do not believe the Ravens' unbalanced offensive line was very effective, especially on some rush plays. I am glad to say that Joe Flacco finally took my advice! I saw him run towards the sidelines and through the ball out, evading at least two sacks. Flacco also made a nice pass to Clayton on 4th down, turning out a 24 yard play, and Heap hit a 30 yard reception that will hopefully be a confidence booster.         The sidelines and locker room began to pile up with injured players, but luckily, those injured are less dependable players and performed poorly last night anyways. Ray Rice and Willis McGahee may not be seeing too many snaps come their way any time soon, even if they are healthy. And Matt Stover is becoming less dependable with every game. Let me say right here that Houska, our newly acquired punter and long field goal kicker, is a star being born.       

      And then there was the man of the hour. Or for Sports Illustrated, the Man of the Year. Michael Phelps. I see he was not shy about bringing his super-cute Vegas cocktail waitress girlfriend to the game with him. I read recently that he has spent a good deal of time flying to Vegas and hiring professional poker players for lessons. I guess this is where they met. Hey, at least we can be glad that such an accomplished man spends his money and time so responsibly and wisely, right? He must have shelled out some of said money, and taken an afternoon off, to piece together his ensemble for the game last night. Seated comfortably in a box, far removed from the field, Phelps looked simply dashing in an Ed Reed jersey, Lacoste hat, and Burberry scarf (note sarcasm). And as if this image couldn't get more dorbsy, his gf was totes matching him (translation: his girlfriend had the same scarf on.) At least he chose a good player to represent, although I would add that real Ravens fans tough the sub-freezing temperatures and enjoy themselves from the comfort of their icy stadium seats.

     The defense played sensationally, and if the Ravens gave out buckeyes for big plays like players do at Ohio State, the sticker company would have run out of supply last night. Jason Campbell showed some class, when, after knocking over one of the "Chain Men," he came over and helped the man get up. Before running back to the line of scrimmage, he checked to make sure the guy was okay and gave him a little squeeze on the shoulder. While Campbell showed class, however, the Ravens Defense showed no mercy. Lewis and Leonhard had a nice hit on Jason Campbell, and Suggs pressured Campbell from the beginning, forcing him to toss an Ed Reed interception on the opening drive. Ray Lewis met expectations, regardless of being the recipient of a bad holding call in the second half. Cory Ivy and Bart Scott both jacked up Randle El, and Suggs laid some nice hits throughout the game, none more important than his late sack in the red zone that prevented the Redskins from putting six on the board. The game, although ugly, had a storybook ending in another Ed Reed interception that took away Washington's hopes of getting back in the game. The defense prevailed, even with two penalties on Special Teams's Wilcox, a no-call offensive pass interference when Ed Reed was contending for a ball, and some bad spots by the officials. I tell you, after Flacco threw an interception to Washington's Landry, Landry is lucky that his brother Dawan, an injured Raven, wasn't out there to repay the favor. Suggs and Lewis were a stone wall, and it pains me to say this, but Suggs can wear all the Yankees' hats he wants if he plays like this. (For the record, I'm in agreement to put a bounty on Hines Ward this coming Sunday.)

      The best quotation (not quote) of the week came from none other than Willis McGahee. In fact, it's the only funny thing he did all night. At the bottom of the screen, you know how they show the player names, profiles, and a little clip of said player flashing a smile, or winking, or maybe staring awkwardly? Well when it came time to introduce the Ravens' Offense, and Willis's face appeared, instead of the customary "University of Michigan" or "Penn State University," he said, "you already know... University of Miami," with some attitude even Tyra Banks would find impressive. I would question why, after an unproductive first half, Cam Cameron continued to play Willis when clearly the puzzle pieces weren't fitting. Cameron jammed them until they snapped on McGahee's fumble/injury play. In retrospect, I guess statements like Willis's are to be expected, as they fall in line with his diva/ crybaby nature. Last night's real diva, however, may have been John Madden, who admitted to "not trusting" certain seafood and dissed crabcakes while broadcasting a game in Baltimore. Seriously? Go home and play your video game, John.

So this week, a friend and I basically predicted the entire game. The players that had the best games.. we saw it coming. The Ravens' plan of attack, saw that too. Check out this segment of our Facebook Wall-To-Wall if you want proof! Sarah Smith* wrote at 11:13pm on December 1st, 2008 "alright ...so i wrote this long thing about this coming weeks game and it all got deleted because i was looking at college football and forgot to open a new tab. anyway, pretty much we will dominate the skins because they have no protection for campbell and he stinks anyway and i am predicting a sweet game for leonhard, another interception perhaps, and for reed, special teams baby. main point, where has clayton been the entire season?? hope he can sustain his amazingness for the rest of the season." Kate wrote at 6:18pm on December 1st, 2008 "i just friended mark clayton on facebook "but it's fine because we already have a mutual friend... so it's not creepy haha. now, this week I'm telling you ed reed and rolle (if healthy) big games; the secondary's going to own the redskins' terrible wide receivers, and jason campbell was sacked like four times yesterday.. expect like six next week (well maybe not) and clinton portis is suckign especially with our rush defense and also their rush defense sucks so if we get maybe some willis in there to work the outside then a little leron up the middle that could be sweet" *names have been changed or omitted to maintain anonymity and NO, Mark Clayton has not yet accepted my friend request.

NFL Preview - Waiting All Week

I've been waiting all day for Sunday Night 
 The tough get rough in a primetime fight 
 The last one standing gets to turn out the lights 
 ‘Cause I been waiting all day for Sunday Night      Faith Hill has never spoken truer words (certainly not in her multiple wedding vows.) That’s right; we will be waiting all day for Sunday Night. In fact, we’ve been waiting all week. Sunday Night is always “Football Night in America,” but this week, it is Football Night in Baltimore. The Ravens have been waiting longer than all of us. They’ve been waiting since 2005 for a primetime win. And finally, I think it’s safe to say their chances are good.      We’ll begin by recollecting how close they came last year to beating the New England Patriots on Monday Night Football. We remember Bart Scott’s valiant tossing of the referee’s flag into the stands (on Facebook, Bart’s now known as “Greatest Penalty Offender Ever,” a title with which I completely agree. And I’m a Patriots fan.) We also remember their embarrassing loss to the Bengals, and the record number of penalties they racked up (disclaimer: some of those penalties were not legitimate.) And of course we all remember earlier this season, when the refs and the Steelers stole yet another primetime victory from us. Maybe we should have expected it from the Steelers and their smack talking wide receiver Hines Ward. And wait, did I mention that Plaxico Burress played for them? We had that game won, and maybe if the referees hadn’t been as partial to the Steelers as Dick Vitale is to Duke, or if Jarrett Johnson had a better temper, we would have won. I believe we did win in the way that the Ravens played better.      Saying this, I think the Ravens are ready for the eyes of the world to, once again, look to Baltimore. It’s been far too long since everybody talked about our great city (the Phelps-mania has died down considerably, despite his recent Sportsman of the Year award.) Like a whole three months. Since like, August. And the Ravens barely get the respect they deserve. They have the best defense in the National Football League (ignore the rankings; they’re stupid and misrepresentative.) Baltimore has a great tradition of football, and we currently have so many Pro-Bowlers and future Hall-of-Famers that I cannot even list them all. Every week, we go out there and play an entertaining game. Often, we display great skill and passion. So why do we have the worst commentators on CBS’s Sunday crew? Week in and week out, Shannon and Boomer, and Bill, and John, every broadcaster and host on every network, ignores the Baltimore Ravens. And I’d like to think they’re going to be very sorry about this, very soon.      I’m sorry, Boomer Esiason, but when was the last time you saw a wide receiver make catches like Mark Clayton, and throw 32-yard touchdown passes? Or an offensive genius like Cam Cameron put in two quarterbacks with some regularity, and never run out of crafty plays. Now, I’ll admit, being cynical as I am, I have been the first to criticize the Ravens’ lackluster plays, or question coaching or quarterback decisions. But I have never lost sight of the fact that the Baltimore Ravens are a force to be reckoned with. We may have injury problems, and may even lack the depth of some other teams, but our veterans, and our rookies show up, every Sunday, ready to play big and make a difference. Samari Rolle and Ed Reed. Haloti Ngata and Joe Flacco. Not to mention, I think Ray Lewis is the greatest leader in the NFL, and perhaps the most recognizable representation of a single franchise (espesh now that Mr. Favre has jumped a train straight out of Wisconsin.) So you should at least talk about the Ravens for the sake of mentioning him, right?      With this said and done, let’s move to the game. I’m sure the Ravens will speak for themselves tomorrow night, but I’ll put in my two-sense for now. Both teams have good defenses. Clearly. But here’s the thing; the Ravens’ defense is superior to that of the Redskins. And their defense will probably be tired out, because we own when it comes to time of possession. Secondly, we have the momentum; the Redskins don’t. It helped that we got to play the Bengals last week, but even so we shut TJ Houshmandzadeh and Chad Johnson/ Mr. H.O.F./ Ocho Cinco/ Mucho Stinko down, in a performance nearly as dominant as USC’s over Notre Dame. Clinton Portis had a terrible week, and has slowed down in general recently. He is also questionable for tomorrow night, so without him, where are the big individual threats? Jason Campbell? Oh I would not expect that. Campbell was sacked four times last week by a defense not nearly as overpowering as ours.       We will, however have to watch out for the Redskins’ defensive backfield. But we have a pretty strong and versatile running game in our new “three-headed dog.” I am concerned about Joe Flacco. Sometimes it’s like he can’t hear me or something when I tell him to get rid of the ball. He’s impressed us with his mobility, but he has to remember he’s not Michael Vick! (That’s probably a good thing; I bet Flacco’s a good dog owner.) Point is, if he’s in trouble, and out of the pocket, THROW THE BALL. Not to a defender, but throw it away. Don’t go down slow-motion AND give up a turnover. Speaking of, Ray Rice and LeRon McClain better watch their handle of the ball. We aren’t going to get away with sloppiness this week. But if we are able to do these two things, I think we can win this. Let’s go and prove me right (for once?)